Author: Cody

I specialize in open, nonmonogamous relationships such as polyamory and swinging, alternative lifestyles such as kink / BDSM, LGBT+, and secular or alternative faiths such as paganism. Trying to live more freely and authentically can be hard. Some struggle feeling something is wrong with them. Some people have just been polybombed, the love of their life seeming to say they’re not enough. Others, having taken the leap can’t seem to stop fighting. Feeling isolated, scared, tired, and like they're going to lose everything. Take a moment to imagine your life as it could be in a few months. You are in love, all over again. With your partner, a new partner, yourself, and how you live. Accepted for who you are, allowed to love in a way that feels natural, you are excited about your new life. Coming into alternative worlds, I saw people go to amazing therapists who just didn’t understand. I watched friends spend the first few sessions teaching very experienced counsellors the vocabulary of their lifestyles. I believe you deserve a therapist that understands. If you live differently and want a therapist that can hear you, message or call me.

LOGISTICS: Time, People, & Finances

Video & Chat

Organizing with the scarce resources of time and money with a partner can be challenging. Organizing this with multiple simultaneous partners

logistics word cloud can be even more challenging! We discuss the different ways that time can be viewed and managed within a polyamorous relationship and how different personality types can change the dynamic with regard to the challenges faced in a relationship.

We also discuss the concept of money in dating, such as expectations for who will be paying for what on a date.

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Let’s get Meta

metacloud

Tonight we asked ourselves questions like:

  • How far down the grand-meta line do we go on STD disclosure? At what point do you just make a pinned post? (Still up for debate)
  • Do you like being a meta?
  • What have metas brought to our life? (Joy and frustration)
  • Could you / how would you live with a meta? (FYI, we learned the Fridge is a warzone!)
  • Do you ever meta-shop? What do you say to your partner about a crush? (Be honest)

Transcript & Video!

 

Jealousy and Compersion

wordcloudIn this week’s discussion we looked at:

  1. What is Jealousy? How does it compare to envy?
  2. Is there a difference in how we handle our own jealousy vs. a partner’s jealousy?
  3. What is compersion?
  4. What leads to either?
  5. What do they LOOK like, in one’s actions?
  6. Is jealousy every healthy or appropriate?
  7. Is compersion ever unhealthy or inappropriate?
  8. Is compersion needed?
  9. What to do when jealousy strikes / how to foster compersion?
  10. Can you unlearn jealousy / internalize Compersion?

Transcript & Video.

Relationship Dynamics

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Howdy all and thank you for coming to Intentionally Live’s 2nd broadcast recap! We came together to discuss RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS.  Video can be found here and the transcript here.

Questions we asked ourselves and  you can give your opinion on!

  1. What kind(s) of romantic relationship(s) are you in / want to be in?
  2. Common courtesy / etiquette
  3. Difference between venting and gossiping
  4. What characteristics go into being a good partner?
  5. How does your dynamic effect commitment?
  6. How does your dynamic change milestones or goals?
  7. How does your dynamic change how you date?
  8. How does your dynamic change conflict resolution?

Ethics

ethics.jpgTopics brought up were:

  • What does it mean to be ethical?
  • What are some do’s and don’ts?
  • Can there be any standard expectations?
  • Is unethical behavior caused in part by too many / not agreed on / unclear agreements?
  • How to negotiate compromises.
  • What if unethical behavior is an accident a few times / a lot of times?
  • How can the relationship move past unethical behavior? Are there consequences?
  • What are the motivations for an otherwise honest partner to be unethical?
  • Is unethical behavior abuse? When does it become so?

See some of our answers in the transcript or in the video and give us some of yours.

We also touched briefly on consent, what if partners are not equal levels of “out”, and the intricacies of Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell non-monogamous relationships. Generally it was agreed few expectations can be made without discussion which needs to be ongoing. One should try to create a history and atmosphere of safety and trust for partners. One’s strength can be drawn from self awareness, positive intent, and healthy self preservation. Join us next week as we discuss Relationship Dynamics.

On abuse, here is the google search for Houston resources and some that are very specific:

Google Search

LGBT

Women’s Center

Gender Neutral Family Violence Unit

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233